While the end of school is not here yet, I know if you’re a parent you’re beginning to think about summer, and so is your child.   There are so many things to do in Encinitas, and so much beauty to enjoy. However, the logistics of summer can really cause some uneasiness as you survey the calendar.  

You feel the stress mounting as summer approaches in Encinitas.

As you think about how you will get all your work done and keep your kids engaged, you feel overwhelmed. It’s a lot of juggling to fit all the moving parts together whether it’s signing up for Encinitas summer camps, surf lessons, or scheduling trips to the beach and the vacation you hope to take.

Changing schedules & routines

While the school schedule has been, “different” this year, summer promises to bring its own challenges. If you and/or your child struggles with anxiety, changes in schedules and routines can be one of those challenges.

Tip #1: Make it a goal to maintain some routine, especially bedtimes.

It’s easy to become super relaxed about bedtimes in the summer when our kids are free of homework and the sun sets later in the day.  However, when adults and children get enough sleep, everyone seems to get along better and cope with whatever the day brings. Unfortunately, anxiety and worries can interfere with getting to sleep. You may lay awake unable to shut down your thoughts. Your child may lay awake for the very same reason, just with child-sized worries.  For anyone that has difficulty falling asleep, focusing on deep breathing can occupy your mind and help your body calm down.

If you are having trouble sleeping, and you are noticing that your anxiety is impacting your parenting, therapy can help you feel more at ease.

When you feel at ease, you can parent from a place of calm, and this will help your kids feel more at ease.

Safety concerns

While our ability to feel safe over this past year has been challenged, you may have other safety concerns that come up in the summer. You worry about the counselors at camp and how they will handle bullying behavior. At the beach, you’re on the lookout for rip tides, stingrays, and strangers as you douse your child in more sunscreen. Even talking about vacation makes you feel nervous with thoughts of all you need to pack, getting everyone up and to the airport on time, boarding the dog, and wondering if one of your children will be motion sick.

Then there’s your child’s apprehension.  For kids who are generally more cautious about new situations, they can feel anxious about traveling, going to camp, and taking lessons to learn new things. For a kid who feels anxious, the unknown can feel threatening.

Tip #2: Focus on positive outcomes

Being concerned for our children’s safety is part of being a parent. But sometimes, we let our minds play scary movies of the future, that are focused on possible negative events. We give too much power to the possible things we can’t control and underestimate our own abilities and our child’s ability to cope with whatever comes our way. This can keep us from allowing our children to try certain activities, activities that could boost their confidence.

An example might be, if you can’t swim, and are afraid of the water, it may be challenging for you to allow your child to join a camp that involves water sports.  Additionally, if you are with your kids on a vacation or at the beach, you may be overfocused on potential threats rather than being really present with your child.

If you are unable to enjoy time with your kids because you are preoccupied, then you may need to take a step back. 

There can come a point when parents can become overprotective, not because of the real risks involved, but because of our own fears. If you struggle with this, therapy can help you sort out what is underneath the need to protect your child in ways that may discourage independence and healthy risk-taking.  

Too much togetherness

One of the joys of summer is the opportunity for more time together as a family. One of the stresses of summer is more time together as a family! This has been the same joy and stress of 2020-21.   Sometimes you just want to be alone. I get it. You’ve had enough with people, even your own, much-loved people.  It is really helpful, as a parent to carve out time for yourself, which is more of a challenge when children are not at school or camp. And, just like you, your child may need time away from you and their siblings and is not able to verbalize that need. It may show up as irritability, increased negativity, and fighting.

Tip #3: Pay attention to what you need.

I hesitate to write the words self-care. If you have been a parent that has been at home for this past year, working online, attending video meetings, while overseeing your children’s distance learning, self-care may feel like a joke.  So, instead of self-care, I want you to really think about what you need as you stare down the barrel of another summer.

Take a moment and identify what would help you feel more at ease and less stressed this summer.  This might be what you need daily, or week to week, or once a month to help you manage all you need to manage, and stay calm and more present for the moments with your kids.  No one else can prescribe what you need. Is it more social connection? More sleep? Nurturing yourself with healthful foods? Drinking more water? When was the last time you spent time with a friend? Can you have someone watch your kids for a couple of hours, while you go to the beach by yourself?  By noticing what you need, and carving out time for what you need, you model to your children how to take care of themselves.  If you are feeling stressed, and you tell your family, “Hey, I feel stressed right now, and I am going to take a walk so I can feel more relaxed”, your kids have just witnessed you taking care of yourself, your emotions, and your physical health.

If the thought of stopping and identifying what you need to help you feel calmer and less stressed is really challenging, therapy can help.

Your needs are valuable and while taking care of your family’s needs is important, and doing your job is important, being frazzled and depleted impairs your ability to do either one.

Free consultation from an Encinitas Therapist

If you are already stressing about summer and need support to manage all that you are juggling, my name is Tami, and I provide therapy for parents struggling with anxiety. If you believe your anxiety is impacting your parenting, I would be happy to speak with you and learn more about what you are noticing and discuss your concerns. To learn more about how I can help click here.

If you are looking for an Encinitas Therapist that provides child therapy to help with anxiety, click here to learn more. If you’re ready to book a free, 15-minute phone consultation, click here to visit my contact page.