It’s common for new moms to struggle with their emotions when they bring their babies home, including struggles with anxiety. I am excited to feature Encinitas therapist, Becky Stuempfig in my blog. Becky is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, with advanced training in postpartum health, who loves working with new moms who feel overwhelmed with their new role and struggling with the fears that often accompany parenting an infant.

She enjoys helping new moms process the difference between what they expected being a mom would feel like and the reality of the experience. Becky also greatly enjoys working with "twenty-somethings" and supporting their personal growth. It is a great time for personal reflection and she finds it very rewarding to support clients in this stage of life.

She has been a therapist since 2005 and opened her own private practice in 2019. Becky provides therapy for adults, specializing in postpartum health, grief and loss, and young adults. In my recent interview, I asked her about her work as a therapist in Encinitas around one of her specialties.

Why did you choose Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders (PMADS) as one of your specialties?

I chose PMADS as a specialty because as a mom of two sons, I have had first-hand experience with the intense emotions of motherhood. While I was prepared for the logistics of motherhood with all the baby gear, I felt very unprepared for the emotional experience. I found it so helpful to reach out to other moms for support and hear that they, too, were struggling and felt surprised by how difficult everything felt. My personal experience left me wanting to support moms in a deeper, more meaningful way.

What do you wish women knew about PMADS?

I would like women to know that they are not alone! So many moms feel like they need to suffer on their own and worry about what others will think if they confide in them about their struggles. I would like to reassure women that by talking about it, they will almost always find an immediate sense of relief. Chances are that the mom pushing her baby on the next swing over has had the same fears and worries - it often just takes someone taking the brave step of being the first one to open up. I encourage moms to take that brave step of being slightly more vulnerable within their friendships with other moms when it feels safe. They usually will find tremendous relief from those conversations.

What happens when a client meets with you for the first time?

When I meet with a client for the first time, we meet for 50 minutes and my goal is to help my client feel as comfortable as possible. I will spend the majority of the session listening to my client's reasons for pursuing therapy and trying to better understand their therapy goals. I will gather information about their background and leave time for any questions my client might have about therapy. I like to hear about what life was like before they became a mom and we spend time talking about their strengths so I can help build on those.

Could you share how you work with moms struggling with PMADS?

Over the course of the first few sessions, I provide a thorough assessment of a mom's background, including her family background, medical history, cultural background, and social/emotional history. We spend time talking about her pregnancies and the birth of her child(ren) and how those experiences may have been different from her expectations and hopes. I use techniques from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT). I like to focus on a mom's strengths and collaborate with them on how they can use their strengths to find more enjoyment with their children and families. I also enjoy helping moms practice mindfulness skills to reduce anxiety and depression.

How can a mother’s PMAD impact her children?

A mother's PMAD can make it difficult for her to enjoy her children the way she wants to. Children, even from a very young age, can pick up on a mom's feelings and often mimic their mom's emotions. Children are extremely perceptive and observe their mom's non-verbal communication such as her facial expressions. If a mom is feeling sad and worried, children will often pick up on this and begin to feel agitated themselves. They may miss out on bonding time with their mom if mom is lacking the energy for these moments and begin acting out in order to gain attention. A mother's PMAD can impact her children's sleep, appetite, and schooling if they generally feel a sense of instability at home. Children will often assign blame to themselves for their mom's feelings which can be damaging to their self-esteem.

What tips do you have for women struggling with PMADS after a birth, who also have other children at home?

My biggest tip for all moms struggling with PMADs is to remind herself that she is not alone, that this is temporary and to confide in other moms. There is so much strength that comes from hearing other mom's experiences and reassurance that comes from hearing she's not the only one struggling. I also encourage moms to "call in the troops" to get breaks from the tasks of motherhood. It is so important to make time for self-care and ask for help from others, even if it is for short 30-minute breaks. A 30-minute walk around the neighborhood or quiet time to herself can do wonders for a mom's mental health. It can also be helpful to ask for help with the baby in order to spend one-on-one time with their older children. Moms tend to be so focused on the newborn at home and many moms grieve the loss of special time with their older children. Older siblings can begin resenting the new baby for taking their attention from mom away. This can be an understandable source of great sadness for both moms and older siblings. It is important to address that need and ask for help so that mom and the older sibling(s) can have one-on-one bonding time, even if it is short windows of time such as when the baby is napping. It is not the quantity, but the quality of time spent together.

What resources do you recommend for women who would like to learn more about PMADS?

The Postpartum Health Alliance (https://postpartumhealthalliance.org) is a San Diego-based non-profit that provides great resources for moms (and dads!) and has a listing of local therapists who have been trained in working with PMADS. I can also recommend Postpartum Support International (https://www.postpartum.net/about-psi/) which has an exhaustive list of resources as well as free online support groups. Karen Kleiman has wonderful books aimed at normalizing and helping moms cope with their PMADS: https://postpartumstress.com/books/

Share one fun fact about you that most people don’t know.

One fun fact about myself is that I lived in Madrid, Spain for 6 months and enjoyed living with a wonderful mom and her four sons during my study abroad program. I have a special place in my heart for the Spanish people and culture and hope to take my sons there one day.

What’s one of your favorite things to do in Encinitas?

One of my favorite things to do in Encinitas is spending the day at Moonlight Beach with my husband and sons, followed by acai bowls. We feel so fortunate to have the beautiful Encinitas beaches so close by and felt especially grateful for the beach during the Covid-10 quarantine - the time outdoors was critical to our mental health as a family!

How can people learn more about your therapy services in Encinitas and contact you?

People can learn more about my therapy services by visiting my website: https://encinitastherapy.com and they can contact me via email at becky@encinitastherapy.com

They can also call me for a complimentary phone consultation at 760-456-5957.

Free consultation for child therapy for kids struggling with anxiety

It’s not uncommon for parents who have struggled with anxiety, to have a child who also struggles with anxiety. If you are looking for child therapy in San Diego north county for kids ages 6-10, struggling with anxiety, click here to learn more. If you’d like to book a free, 15-minute phone consultation, click here to visit my contact page.