3 Tips to Help Deal with Face Coverings for Kids
Today I was at Sprouts (a grocery store) near where I live in Encinitas. A child was asserting his independence. He was most certainly, not going to wear his face covering for one more moment.
I don’t know where you fall in the continuum of beliefs about face coverings, but I doubt you enjoy wearing one. Now that the days are getting warmer it’s getting even more uncomfortable. So I get that this kid wasn’t having it anymore.
For months now my heart has hurt for so many people for so many reasons. But today, as I looked at those parents and that little boy, tears began to well up in my eyes. I can’t imagine what parents are going through right now who are at home with younger children.
Today’s protest at the grocery store reminded me of a day when one of my children was not too keen on being buckled into a car seat. He flat out protested. It was a standoff and when I told him that the law said I had to have him strapped into a car seat, he looked at me flat out and said, “Show me the law. I want to see the law”.
My other child, who enjoyed escaping, was caught trying to unlock the front door of our home to go outside. Never mind that we had a back yard to play in. He too pitched a protest and marched down the hall. As he went, he yelled over his shoulder, “You ruin all my fun!”
Children often are not able to understand our actions as parents. Even as teens, they can’t comprehend some of the measures we take to help keep them safe. Nevertheless, as parents, we have to be the parent, and it’s hard. However, sometimes we can make it even harder when we set up power struggles with our children.
Right now there is so much our children don’t understand about what is going on, but as parents, we can make a difference in how our children remember this time in history. So, while we are being told to cover our faces for the common good, here are my three tips, offered with an abundance of care.
3 tip to help deal with face coverings for kids
Let them choose. When you give children some power with making decisions, like what to wear, it often lessens the struggle, because you are not dictating, but rather allowing them to choose for themselves. You still get to choose IF they wear one or not. Maybe your daughter really wants the superhero face covering, and your son wants the one with purple flowers.
Comfort. Some kids are more sensitive than others. You may have a child who hates the seams on the inside of socks and t-shirts. Your child may be fighting you on wearing the face-covering because it’s so uncomfortable. Try to find a mask that is as breathable as possible and fits well. A mask that is too large just feels more smothering. If your child really is bothered, please be as patient as possible. If it’s a sensory thing, your child’s anxiety may be far higher while wearing a mask.
Make it fun. While most people are wearing face coverings in public, your child may not understand. All they may think is you are making them do something they don’t want to do, and they are going to fight you on it. For younger children try to make it fun, instead of a law. A face covering can be part of an overall costume that your child “gets” to wear on special outings in public.
Wear a bandana with a cowboy hat
Wear a mask like a nurse/doctor with a play stethoscope around their neck
Use fabric paint or felt to create scary teeth and a mouth on the face covering. Magically your child is a shark or a dinosaur
So, you’ve tried all these and your child is still ripping off their mask at the grocery store. Now what?
You’re still the parent. Here’s what to do in the moment.
Stay calm. Take a deep breath. (I know, near impossible wearing your own face covering and wanting to scream).
Get on their level. Look them eye to eye with kindness in your eyes, not anger, or frustration, or fear. REMEMBER they can only see your eyes.
Use a firm but kind, reassuring tone and tell them, “I understand you don’t want to wear your mask right now. But in the store today, we are wearing our masks. I need you to put your mask back on”.
Hold or hug your child. Gently touch your child. This can have a calming effect.
Really listen to your child and their feelings. Then reflect their feelings back. “I know you don’t like the mask”. “I know you feel frustrated that for right now we have to keep our masks on”.
Provide a simple acknowledgment, “Thank you for putting your mask back on”. You don’t need to gush, or overly praise them for being such a good boy or girl.
If your child still refuses, ask if they need a break.
“How about we go outside and get some fresh air for a minute. Then we will come back in and put our mask back on”.
After everyone has cooled down and gotten some fresh air, then you can try again.
Here’s what NOT to do in the moment.
Don’t scare your child into wearing a face covering. Please don’t tell them if they don’t wear the mask, people can die. Although, you may have an elderly family member at home, and there may be increased risk, scaring your child is not a good idea.
Don’t bully your child into wearing one either by yelling or holding them against their will to put on the mask. Please don’t threaten them with punishment.
Don’t bribe them. This tends to become a habit. Your child will learn to throw fits so you will bribe them to behave. Please try to avoid this, though I do understand.
This is a trying time. Remember you are not alone and this will not last forever. If you need additional support in how to manage during this time, or your child is struggling click here to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation. I’m an Encinitas therapist who works with children, however, sometimes the best therapy for a child is a parent who is getting adequate support. If I can support you or your child please contact me. Take care and be well!