5 Things to Do to Help Anxious Kids Feel More at Peace.

This blog has been updated from the original March 2021 post.

There are many things to “do” in San Diego North County compared to other parts of the country. It’s a great place to live, with access to the outdoors year-round for all kinds of sports. You can hike, bike, and enjoy the beaches.

Yet, for kids struggling with anxiety, they don’t always enjoy all the activities. It may be while engaging in a fun activity that you notice that your child is overly cautious or expressing worry about harm.

As a child therapist in San Marcos, I support parents in helping their kids.

As I have provided therapy for kids, many have wrestled with anxiety, for various reasons. It's not uncommon for kids to have worries about their safety. They also worry that something bad will happen to their parents. During the pandemic, these fears heightened for many children.

I don’t think I need to go into detail here. As a parent, you’re well aware of how the pandemic affected kids in general, and your kids especially. The bottom line here is no matter what is happening at home or globally, kids struggle to be kids when they're worried. Anxious, dysregulated bodies don't help.

Here are five things you can do at home to help your anxious kids feel more at peace.

1. Ground and calm yourself

Do whatever you can to feel calmer and more at peace as the parent, whatever you are going through. If you are pacing around the house, frowning, fussing, and generally not at ease your children will pick up on your anxiety. Take a walk. Practice deep breathing. You can be a role model by getting plenty of sleep, exercising, and eating well. Connect with your friends and family members and rely on your social support system. If your anxiety is unmanageable, then consider seeking therapy for yourself.

2. Gentle touch

Cuddle with your kids. Put your arm around them. Hold their hand. Rub their backs or feet. Massage their shoulders. Brush their hair gently. Touch is very powerful and calming. It counteracts our fight-or-flight response at the heart of anxiety. Touch releases a neurotransmitter and hormone called Oxytocin. Oxytocin helps us to regulate our emotions and feel calmer. If your child hates being touched, they might feel calmer doing the touching. They can spend time brushing the dog or petting the fur of a cat, or a soft stuffy.

3. Gratitude

Expressing thankfulness for what you have and your life circumstances reduces anxiety. Daily, asking your child to think of and share things they are grateful for, can help them feel calmer. Doing this at bedtime can help contribute to a calm start to sleep. In his book, “The Upward Spiral”, Alex Korb, Ph.D. highlights how gratitude reduces anxiety stating,

“Both worry and anxiety arise out of the possibility that something bad might happen. But the brain can only focus on so many things at once, so when you’re thankful for the good things that might occur in the future, gratitude replaces those negative feelings, and the worry evaporates”.

4. Spirituality

Rituals of spirituality are powerful tools to calm the minds and bodies of people of all ages. Praying and spending time meditating on sacred words redirects the mind away from worries. Singing, and/or listening to uplifting music also add to a sense of peace. Being outdoors, observing, and being in awe of nature helps your family to focus on something bigger than yourself and your worries. It provides a sense of perspective.

5. Quiet & soothing activities

When a body feels anxious, it can become overly sensitive to the environment. Sounds can become more annoying and distracting. Bright lights seem harsh. In her book, “Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, too Tight”, author Sharon Heller, Ph.D. shares about sensory defensiveness in an overstimulating world. The author states,

“…you do not have to be born hypersensitive. Any trauma that disrupts the nervous system at any age can generate sensory defensiveness.”

The many challenges and disruptions of the past few years have produced lots of anxiety. For some people, including children, their nervous systems are on high alert. This is one of the reasons it's more difficult to sleep and to feel calm in our bodies. How do we help our bodies feel safe again? Try making time for activities that are both quiet and soothing. Warm baths are great, but my favorite quiet, soothing activity is art.

Using Art Therapy to help children with anxiety.

As an Art Therapist, I love setting aside time to use art materials. There does not have to be a planned project or a purpose other than to spend time with the color, the textures, and the sensory feel of the materials. Children and adults alike can enjoy the quiet focus of drawing or shading. Rolling clay around in your hands, or on a table to the beat of slow music can also be very therapeutic.

In November 2019, The World Health Organization (WHO) published a report about the arts. Their report looked at the prevention, treatment, and management of a range of physical and mental health issues. They reported that the arts can enhance our well-being and reduce the impact of trauma by supporting recovery.

I often use art therapy in counseling to help clients with their anxiety. Art Therapy helps clients to feel more at ease, providing a way to express difficult feelings and learn new ways of coping.

To learn more about how I help with art therapy, click here.

When do I need to contact a Child therapist?

Sometimes our anxiety about what is going on with our child can be paralyzing, but, getting the support of a therapist can make a difference. Here are a few things to consider in guiding your decision to seek help.

Think about the past two weeks and what you have observed with your child

• Has your child verbalized how scared or anxious they feel?

• Are their worried thoughts non-stop?

• Are they saying they can’t do things because they feel nervous?

Saying "I feel scared or nervous" is something almost everyone does on occasion. When it is happening three or more days a week, it’s notable. That’s because it may begin to interfere with functioning at home, at school, and with friends. When it’s happening more days than not, it’s a concern that needs to be addressed.

Free consultation for Child Therapy San Diego

If you believe your child’s anxiety may be becoming more serious, I encourage you to reach out for support. I provide therapy in San Marcos for elementary-school-aged children struggling with anxiety and parent coaching.

To learn more about how I help children with anxiety, click here.

If you found this blog helpful, please share it with others in your social media networks. Thank you!

Tami