San Diego Child Therapist shares how to create healthier habits around devices for your kids.

I see the influence of “devices” every day on kids.  I base this on my observations over the years of working with parents and children. As a therapist in San Marcos working with elementary school-aged children, I see three ways children are negatively impacted. 

Children are more sedentary.  

I learned this firsthand with my youngest child when he was in early elementary school.  Typically, before school, he loved to be outside riding his bike or scooter. The week they passed out iPads, I found him in the garage, hunkered down next to the car before school glued to the screen. He was drawn to it like a magnet. 

As a therapist who treats anxiety, I know and have also experienced personally how movement helps regulate our emotions.  Staring at a screen is fatiguing for the eyes and the brain, not our bodies. Bodies need to move to sleep more peacefully and regulate. 

Children are Missing Their Parents. 

Parents are very busy either on their phones or other devices. While much of what parents do on devices may be work, parents can be as captured by devices as their children. 

Whether parents are texting, gaming, or scrolling their social media feeds, many miss out on what their children say and do.  Kids can feel not seen or heard. Some kids resort to negative attention-seeking to bid for connection with their parents. Others feel sad. Wanting more time with a parent is a common reason children report to me that they feel sad.

Children’s Artwork is Impoverished. 

Along with specializing in Child Therapy I also am a trained Art Therapist.  In Art Therapy, I love to see kids express themselves creatively.  Unfortunately, it seems that fewer kids can create from their imagination. Many mainly draw characters from online videos or computer games. I believe kids need to be exposed to more visually stimulating, external environments.  They aren't getting enough sensory engagement with the world around them. While their minds live in a virtual world, their bodies and senses are static in the real world.

How can you reverse the trend as a parent? Some of the following points echo what you probably already know. You can make changes to impact your kids positively.

Relationship connection with you, as the parent.

Continually work on developing a close relationship with your child. When connection comes first, children are more likely to listen to what you say and respect the family rules.  Healthy, family relationships help children to say no to all types of unhealthy behaviors and choose healthier habits. That includes devices.

Spend time together outdoors. Connect better with your child making art together. Go on a scavenger hunt, make things with your hands, and go to a farmer’s market to smell, touch, taste, and see all the sights. Show them how to interact with the real world.

Limits on time and content for everyone in your family.

From an early age, teach respect for boundaries. The first boundary is teaching them to hear and say the word no. This helps them to learn to respect themselves and others. When children respect boundaries, they learn to be responsible for their choices.

Children will have an easier time respecting screen time and device limits if you have taught them to respect limits earlier in life. Limit on time and content can be a family priority.

Model the kind of behavior you would like your child to emulate. 

Like exercise and healthy eating, your child is more likely to catch your habits, rather than do what you say. If you spend lots of time posting on social media, playing games, and scrolling your phone multiple times an hour because of notifications, how can you expect your child to learn something different? 

Consider how you use devices, then lead by example.  Walk the talk. As a parent, you do have to do what you say. If that is challenging for you, find another parent you can be accountable for device use and screen time.

Free consultation for Parent Coaching from a San Diego Child Therapist in North County.

If you are looking for support and coaching to help you strengthen your boundaries with your kids, I can help.   As a parent coach and a therapist in San Marcos, I specialize in treating elementary-school-aged children struggling with anxiety, trauma, grief & loss.