Tami Earnhart, LMFT, ATR

View Original

Where's the Joy found in a “Stay-at-Home” Order?

Well, it’s December and we have a San Diego County stay-at-home order again. When I sat down to write this blog, I had a few ideas, but I really wanted to write something that would help parents at home, staring down the holidays. So, this blog is for all the parents, a lot of moms, who are at home doing the best they can right now.

The holidays are never easy, but this year may feel understandably more challenging if you have children. Perhaps you are asking yourself, “Where is the joy found in a stay-at-home order?” especially during the holidays. Finances may be tight, you may be short on energy, and feel sad that social distancing is keeping you apart from some beloved family members and friends.

However, in the midst of everything you are dealing with and juggling, your kids need time with you.  It may be the most important “thing” they need right now.

You may be caught up in worry. Your kids may feel isolated. We all have less contact with the world. Seeing people in a zoom call is flat, and you can’t hug them. Masked people can’t see one another’s smile. With a mask, I can’t smell the lemons or the bakery items at the store.  It all makes it more difficult to be grounded and present in this moment.

As an Encinitas therapist working with children and adults, I have witnessed an increase in sensory deprivation.

One of the important healing aspects of using art in therapy is how clients interact with art materials, whether they are manipulating clay or shading a drawing with scented markers there is a sensory experience. It also helps people become immersed in the moment, without a care about the future, or memory of the past.

Here are three simple, cost-friendly ideas to help you and your children connect. These ideas can also help you feel more joy, become more grounded, and get through this “stay-at-home” order. They all involve your senses.

As a registered Art Therapist in San Diego, I know from experience, and my understanding of trauma, working with your hands can be calming.

  • Cookie Clay

    If you or your children feel tense or angry, clay is a great magnet for that energy. Not everyone has clay at their home, but this time of year cookie dough makes a great “clay-like” material.  Cookie dough that is cold, will have more resistance, and thus expend more energy.  Play with the cookie dough just like you would with clay. You can either roll lots of balls and press them flat or use a large rolling pin to roll out dough to use with cookie cutters. Again, think about the sensory aspect of this activity. Vanilla is great, but so is a lemon extract or almond extract to create a pleasing olfactory experience. And don’t forget the colorful sprinkles. They bring joy even for you and your teens. Put some cookies on a plate and gift them to a neighbor to brighten their day as an added bonus.

  • If you are struggling with low energy, and the thought of a large mess with kids feels overwhelming, consider setting up outside on a table you can hose off.  If you and your family are focusing on health-conscious choices, and cookies are not an option, try making salt flour dough to roll out. In the same way, this dough can be rolled out and cut with cookie cutters, then baked to make ornaments to hang on a tree. They can also be enhanced with essential oils to create a positive aroma.

Research suggests that expressing gratitude lowers anxiety.

If you and your kids are struggling at night to fall asleep, it can be a great nightly ritual to think of and share three things you are feeling gratitude about. Your mind will be focused on the positive, rather than the anxious worries. To reinforce the gratitude you can create a tangible reminder with paper chains.

  • Gratefulness Garlands

    While this is a great activity to start at Thanksgiving and add to daily for several weeks, it’s never too late to start expressing gratitude.  Simply cut strips of construction paper or other paper. On each strip of paper, write one thing you are grateful for, then glue the ends together to create a loop.  Then create another link in the chain with words about something else you are grateful about. I love the use of construction paper because again the color adds to the sensory experience. This is a project that can be ongoing. 

If projects are not your thing, that’s okay.

I have heard therapists refer to deep breathing as the Swiss army knife of mental health therapy. I don’t know if that is true, but I do know it has been proven to reduce anxiety and help people cope with trauma. Deep breathing can be difficult to teach to children, though there are some creative methods.  Here is a natural way to just be still for a few moments and breath in an aroma you love.

  • Calming Cocoa Circle

    Create a mid-morning or mid-afternoon calming time or breathing break with your kids. Call it anything you want, (calming cocoa circle is not my favorite name). It’s time to be together and for you to be present with them. Take 10-15 minutes and just sit, embracing a warm drink and breath in the aroma.  Slowly savor the smell and taste. My favorites are hot cocoa or peppermint herbal tea, but use whatever warm drinks you and your children love to drink and smell. Sit in a circle, at a table, or cuddle on the couch. The act of slowing down and breathing in nurtures and calms you and your children.

Additionally, you can increase the positive sensory experience in your home with upbeat holiday music, singing & dancing. Light scented candles. Savor peppermint sticks.  Gather to watch the holiday movies that make you laugh. Most of all share time together, really be present with one another. Look at your children and let your face smile and reassure them that they are loved, and everything will be okay. The longest day always has a sunset.

Complimentary Consultation for Art Therapy in San Diego

As an Encinitas Therapist and a Registered Art Therapist in San Diego north county, I have helped children and adults tell their stories and share their emotions in powerful ways using creative expression. If you are in the San Diego area and are interested to learn more about child therapy click here or for online therapy click here. To schedule a free, 15-minute phone consultation through the website click here. To learn more about art therapy for anxiety and trauma, click here, to visit my Art Therapy page.

If you are interested in participating in Art Therapy where you live, I recommend that you seek out an art therapist credentialed through the Art Therapy Credential Board (ATCB). As a national credentialing board, the ATCB ensures the educational and professional standards needed to be a qualified art therapist are met and maintained.  This is essential in any mental health field to provide an ethical standard of care and improve treatment outcomes.