San Diego North County is a great place to raise kids. So many wonderful opportunities. Award-winning schools, beaches, hiking trails, and lots of near-perfect weather. While San Marcos may be known as a family-friendly community within North County, not all the kids here are happy and relaxed.

If you have ever been to therapy yourself, you know it can take some time to find the “right” therapist. The truth is it can be even harder to find the right therapist for a child struggling with anxiety. There are several reasons, but here are the basic ones.

There are a lot of therapists who provide child therapy. You’ve asked friends and family for referrals. You looked at therapist directories and read websites. Mind-boggled. Check.

You narrowed down your search. It looks like most therapists offer a consultation. How do you figure out what to ask? How do you make a decision?

Providing children opportunities to make decisions, without parent involvement builds decision-making muscles. With my training in Art Therapy, I often incorporate artmaking into child therapy and family therapy sessions. I find that art-making provides opportunities for children to express their self and communicate what they think and feel.

Adults who come to therapy, often have developed unhelpful ways of coping with their anxiety. Parents who reach out to me about child therapy want their children to learn better ways to cope with anxiety.

Guest Author: Irina Baechle, LCSW and licensed relationship therapist.

When you have children, you can count on a certain amount of anxiety. But worry and fear about the well-being of your children can quickly spiral out of control and impair your everyday life, relationships, and welfare.

If you are experiencing a loss, your grief may feel unbearable. Yet each day you do your best to care for your children. It may be a loss that affects them too, and they “Don’t want to talk about it”. It may be that they can’t talk about it.

I know if you’re searching for grief counseling for children or for yourself, your family is not fine. You’re experiencing something you didn’t predict, that has swept over your entire family. Now the waves keep coming.

Stress can come from external events, illnesses, injuries, and even from past experiences. How much stress can one body take? Everyone is different. Some people are more resilient in the face of certain stressors.

So how do you know if you’ve reached your limit and now may be dealing with underlying anxiety?

As you grieve fun things feel meaningless. You watch your children, who are also going through this loss. Sometimes they are playing like nothing has changed. At other times they’re not themselves and you know they’ve been impacted. 

Homeschooling lends itself to more outside-the-box thinking. Homeschool parents have a unique opportunity to offer a much wider range of creative experiences and art materials even without art experience and a limited budget.

As I have provided therapy for kids, many have wrestled with anxiety, for various reasons. It's not uncommon for kids to have worries about their own safety. They also worry that something bad will happen to their parents. During the pandemic, these fears heightened for many children.

Art therapy is a type of mental health therapy that goes beyond words. It enables a client, working with a trained Art Therapist, to address issues and experiences in ways that can feel safer and more empowering. Creative expression can also be used to help integrate traumatic experiences. It's an active, engaging therapy that incorporates creativity and image-making to move you toward healing.

As a therapist who provides therapy for children, here are three myths that I’ve encountered that people sometimes believe about therapy for kids. These myths contribute to families not getting help. They also add to the stigma around mental health treatment.       

The most natural thing when a child is in distress is to help them, to assist them in some way. That help often comes in the form of information, advice, and solutions.  While children may need your information, they first need to feel connected to you.  I don’t know the origin of the idea, but these words have always stuck with me, “Connect before your correct”.  However, it seems for many parents and other adults it’s easier to correct or try to “fix” a child, and then try to connect with them. 

Parenting is hard, so this is definitely not a drive-by-guilting. Sometimes you feel anxious about the things your family, and ultimately your child is going through at school or at home. You wonder if your kid should see a child therapist. One thing I have witnessed over the years is that if a parent can remain relatively calm and take care of themselves, no matter what the issue, their kids cope better.

Stigmas persist about getting help from a counselor or mental health therapist. And when it’s your kid who needs child therapy for anxiety, it’s not something proudly posted on social media.

Talking to children about participating in therapy is like many other things we have to speak to our children about. Kids often take their cues from adults. If we present therapy as a place where a child must talk to a therapist, a child can feel a tremendous amount of pressure to not only please their parent but also to talk to a complete stranger about something that is already difficult to put into words. If we are tentative and worried when we talk about therapy, which can be natural because we have concerns about our child, he or she may believe there is something to worry about. If we appear to be evading questions, they may feel we are hiding something from them.

Your child loves art.

As a parent, you want to connect more, but art is just not your thing. On top of that, you know that creating art has the potential for a lot of mess, and frankly, it just feels overwhelming.